Has your child devoured food one day and want nothing to do with it the next? Spoon theory: the reason behind fluctuating fussy eating.

Has your child ever devoured a food one day but wanted absolutely nothing to do with it the next? 🤦🏻‍♀️ You’re not alone, this is one of the most common (and most frustrating!) parts of raising a toddler or young child.

You might think they’ve gone off the food altogether, but there’s often more going on beneath the surface. Baby Feeding Dr explains, this is where the "spoon theory" comes in.

Bluey's mum Chili conveys a desire for personal space, asking for 20 minutes alone. Like all mums, Chili, frequently juggles her own needs with the demands of her energetic children, this character seeks a moment of tranquility amidst the lively environment.

What is Spoon Theory?

Spoon theory was coined by Christine Miserandino to explain the finite energy of people with chronic illness, such as lupus. Imagine every spoon as a unit of energy. You start the day with a certain number of spoons, and each task uses some of them up: getting dressed, socialising, working, or making decisions.

When you run out of spoons, you simply don’t have the capacity to take on anything extra.

How Spoon Theory Applies to Kids and Fussy Eating

Children may not have chronic illness, but they do have limited energy and coping reserves each day. They spend spoons on learning new skills, navigating big feelings, playing, moving their bodies, and responding to all the stimulation around them.

Trying a new food, or even a food they haven’t had in a while, can be a “difficult” task for their brain and body, especially if they’re tired, overstimulated, or just out of emotional bandwidth.

Think of the @officialblueytv episode where Chilli felt overstimulated in the kitchen. For our kids, dinner can feel the same way after a long day. If they’ve used up their spoons, they may simply not have the capacity to face the extra challenge of eating something unfamiliar.

Why They Eat It One Day and Refuse the Next

On days when your child has “bonus spoons,” they’re more open to new challenges. Maybe they slept well, had a calm morning, played in a way that filled their cup, or felt supported and connected to you.

On those days, they might surprise you by eating the broccoli, lentils, or salmon you’ve offered without hesitation. But on days when their spoons are already spent, maybe from a busy daycare day, a disagreement with a friend, or even just being hungry but overtired, "fussy eating" is much more likely.

How to Give Your Child Bonus Spoons

You can’t control every factor, but you can help your child conserve spoons during the day and gain a few extra before mealtimes:

• Routine and predictability: Knowing when meals are coming reduces stress and helps them mentally prepare.

• Involving them in food prep: Washing vegetables, stirring a pot, or helping set the table increases familiarity and comfort.

• Deep pressure or sensory play: Activities like a bear hug, jumping on a trampoline, or rolling up in a blanket can calm the nervous system.

• Role modelling: Eating the same food in front of them shows it’s safe and normal.

• Calm environment: Lower noise, dim lights, or even a quiet corner can make mealtime less overwhelming.

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The takeaway? Sometimes, it’s not about the food at all, it’s about your child’s energy, emotions, and sense of safety. When we understand their “spoon count” and find ways to give them bonus spoons, we set the stage for more willing and relaxed eating.

💬 Comment below with your favourite ways to give your child bonus spoons 🥄🥄🥄

Follow @babydfeedingdoctor on Instagram and join the Baby Feeding Village group on facebook for more advice.

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